Today is our fourth anniversary. Since we're now engaged, it's also possibly the last in November; so it's worth taking a moment to consider the past four years.

We had been close friends for several years before dating; so when we became a couple, we moved in together almost immediately. That's like throwing a relationship into a pressure cooker: Whatever happens, happens fast. It's difficult to keep pace, and you're lucky if you only stumble occasionally.

No relationship is without conflict -- or maybe I should say, you can't have passion without conflict. We've had our share of both. I don't think the measure of a relationship has anything to do with those, with conflict or joy or any fleeting emotions, but something simpler: How many memories have you shared?

We've got lots.

Watching the Leonid meteor shower on Nauset Beach. Rushing between families on Thanksgiving. Driving through snowstorms, and playing with seals in the surf. Winning blackjack in Montreal. Scrapbooks, and cookie dough, and dancing and desserts and the North End and about a thousand restaurant menus.

I don't know what makes a life "good." For better or worse, that's a question that will require hindsight. Barring a measure of quality, I think the only thing we can ask is for a life that's full -- and I've had that in spades. Here's to four years running.