Last night, Catherine Zeta-Jones hosted Saturday Night Live and performed a tap dance during her monologue. I've always liked when celebrities tap dance. I could give a damn about dancing per se; but it's a token from their ascent and a healthy reminder to folks who think celebrity comes easily.

Rosie O'Donnell said her life's ambition was to become famous. She dropped out of college at 18 and spent all her time watching television. You have to ask yourself whether that's someone to respect.

Emerson said that if you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door. I'm not sure I'd want fame; but if the world did come knocking, I hope I'd have a mousetrap to show them.

Hollywood thrives on luck. David Mamet compared it to Wall Street: "The price of stock has no relationship to the worth or prospects of the company traded." But once the furor dies, every stock is judged not by its yield but by its merits; and excepting the occasional Rosie O'Donnell or Donald Trump, Aesop's wisdom still holds true: "Slow and steady wins the race."